How I was called into Sufism

Are you familiar with Sufism?  I wasn’t until recently. It feels as if all of my life experiences, all the religions I have studied, all of my personal beliefs, have all led me to this point. It’s as if the puzzle of my life was missing that one final piece, the one piece that was needed to finally say, okay, this is it. I can start a new 10,000 piece puzzle. I want to share how I ended up here, to begin with.

I have been on a spiritual path all my life. I have studied Christianity, Judaism, and other religions as well. 

Sufism is NOT a religion. I want to start off by saying that.

I had been studying Judaism, and Kabbalah for several years and along the way, I met a man during one of the classes. His approach was more expansive. Sure he was technically of one faith, he followed that faith and was very observant in it, but he also didn’t put limits on God, something most religions will do.

One religion will say that this book is ONLY for this one group of people, another will say the ONLY way to God is this one path. I even believed and dogmatically shared this belief, but then I began to realize that by doing so I was limiting God, I was making one religion better than the other, and one group better than the other. 

I believe we all need to have some sort of spiritual path and practice. We are spiritual beings after all. Although I lean more towards one such religion than others, even that religion would do the one thing we all shouldn’t do, talk badly about another religion and people! I actually became a little hopeless towards humanity.

So this guy, he’s of a specific religion, born into it, observant, etc. He came on as a guest speaker in one of the Kabbalah classes I was taking. It was a virtual class taught by an Observant Rabbi and his wife who live in Tzfat. The guest speaker was a close friend to them. The guest speaker was different though. He was solid in his observance but also knew that there was more than religion, his focus during the class was connecting to God’s light directly, opening the heart and soul to pure light, God without the religion, but God nonetheless.

Being more of a spiritual person myself I really resonated with this view and when he started a free class which is virtual and weekly I jumped on board. I call it the bread crumbs that led me to where I am right now, but then again that’s what life is, bread crumbs leading us to the path we are meant to walk only we need to pay attention or we will live our entire lives on the wrong path.

Every Wednesday there would be a small group of us meeting via Zoom. We would discuss different topics centered around loving God, healing by opening up and letting go, and loving others. It became and still is my oasis.  On these days I am able to stop for an hour, meet with like-minded people at the Oasis, and drink the refreshing, clear water, eat the sweet fruit of healing myself and showing love to others, and connecting to the Creator of all things without putting myself into a box of dogmatic beliefs.  It’s something I try to always be a part of as it gets me through the hump of the week.

So now I am focusing less on laws and more on truly connecting to God. During this process, someone in the group mentioned how she and her husband went on a psychedelic journey with a guide in the desert. She shared what she experienced and how powerful the journey was for healing. Our teacher then mentioned that he was able to guide us on a journey with music, and asked if we would all be interested. Of course, we all said yes. 

For 3 days prior to the “journey”, we had to prepare ourselves. First, we had to think about our intention for the journey, what was it that we wanted out of it. Then we had to prepare physically by removing stimulants and eating clean. My intention was to know who I am, who I was in other lives. I wanted to understand what I may be holding onto from a previous life, or from a generational perspective. I received all that information and more.

The journey was about an hour and 45 min. It was a blast. The group had been meditating together weekly and the sound of our teacher’s voice was so powerful and gentle that it was easy to fall into the meditation.

I won’t share all the details here, I will save that for another day, but I basically saw the different lives I had. The warrior, leaving the Anasazi cliffs smelling the stench of disease which is what caused us to leave. I saw the escape from Spain during the Inquisition, the marriage to a Prince who taught me so much and whom I loved so deeply, we were so happy. It was a feeling I had never felt before. I saw war, joy, struggles, victories, current family members, and more. 

While going through each life experience a face of an older man would flash in front of me. This happened at least 3 times, once so strongly that I felt my head jolt back from startlement. I did not know this man in this life, yet he was so familiar, like a relative. I saw myself as a little girl hugging him. He was grandfatherly, I felt he was a relative of mine that I didn’t know in this life. His face was calm, his eyes closed like he was asleep. Somehow I knew he wasn’t alive, but he wasn’t dead either. I couldn’t figure out who he was but this wasn’t the first time I’d seen him during meditation.

At the last part of the journey, I saw myself standing in a trophy cave. It was a basement carved out of rock, around the room on the wall was an item, clothing, weapons, something that was specific to that life. My armor when I was a warrior, my dresses, tools, mostly items a warrior would have. All of this hung on the walls. I was standing with my hands on a long table carved from wood. It was thick and strong. I stood there looking around the room and heard me saying that I can put down all of the weapons, I no longer needed to fight as a warrior, those days are over. I told myself that this room will always be here for me if I ever wanted to come and visit, to remember, but my role is no longer the role of a warrior. I didn’t have to fight anymore if I didn’t want to. 

Off to the right, just slightly behind my right shoulder, I could hear such joyful music.  There were a few steps leading up to this room of people who were dressed in all white, just like the elderly man I kept seeing. They held hands and danced in a circle. Some broke off to dance in the center. It was a celebration. Then I saw the lower half of a man, from the knees down who was also dressed in all white. I couldn’t see his face but I knew it was the same elderly man from earlier. He put out his hand, I took one last look around the room before taking his hand. He guided me up the short steps into the room of dancing, music, and laughter. Everyone cheered and welcomed me in. I knew I was now on a new path, a new life. I wouldn’t know for several days what this truly meant.

I shared this experience with the group. Then for the next few days, I just sat and thought about what this all meant. It was several days later that our teacher reached out to me and asked if I had a quick minute to do a Zoom, of course, I did! He shared with me that he had a dream, which a Shaman often does, about what I had shared. He held up a book whose Author was pictured on the backside of and asked if I recognized the man. I wanted to blurt out that he was the man I saw several times during meditations and during the journey but fear held me back. Finally, I said it, he’s the man I saw and I think he’s my grandfather from some other life. This is when everything fell into place. 

The book’s author is a man named Sidi. He has a longer name but I don’t know it off the top of my head. He is the Sufi leader who had passed away several years ago, but his energy like all holy men and women is still felt. He had visited my teacher in a dream to tell him to introduce me to him. When Sidi was alive my teacher spent time with him and Sidi was with my teacher when he met his wife so they already knew each other. A few weeks later my teacher said he had been given a name to give to me. After he consulted the current guide for this particular Sufi order he was given permission to give me my new spiritual name. It is Jamila and it’s why I call my work, Jamila’s heart walk. I accepted the name and took the Sufi path a few weeks later.

I didn’t know then that the term used for accepting or choosing the path of Sufism has something to do with taking the hand. I didn’t know that the images of men in long white clothing spinning around and that I was so mesmerized with where Sufi. It all just started to connect in the days to come.

So now here I am, learning to be a Sufi. It’s not about religion, it’s about connecting to the one and only God, allowing the light and love to expand in me, healing me, and one-day helping others do the same.

Jamila’s heart walk is all about this walking. Healing, sharing, loving those who are different and have different beliefs than I do. I know there are others like me who want to know God, who want to heal from the pain carried in the body, soul, and heart and this is why I share.

I hope this is not a trigger, I hope this brings healing and inspiration to you, whatever path you are on or whatever path you choose.

Thank you for your time, 

Much love, light, and blessings and if you’re interested in learning more, here’s a link to the book that led me a bit deeper as well as a link to the weekly group that I mentioned. I am an affiliate and may receive compensation, but I hope that doesn’t stop you. The group is free.

I do not receive any compensation for the book.

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